In honor of my half birthday today, I’m finally sharing 25 THINGS I’VE LEARNED BY 25 which I reflected on following my 25th birthday this past July 29, ’19.
For the most part I still agree with my 25 things I’ve learned by 25 thoughts written 6 months ago on my actual birthday. It is interesting how we are constantly evolving & some things change so much, yet others are always constant.
25 Things I’ve learned by 25:
1. If you want something you have to go after it. Otherwise it simply will not happen. Nobody else can take it for you.
This is something I have really had to remind myself over and over again. It can be easy to want to fall on other people to push you towards your dreams and ambitions, but at the end of the day – YOU have to want it badly enough to push yourself to take action and chip away.
2. Energy is wasted worrying about things entirely out of your control.
Again, constantly reminding myself of this every single day. If I find myself getting upset over something, I have to take a step back and really analyze if it is something I can change myself. Many times the answer is no, so it really is not worth any more energy. For example, I can stress so much about what someone thinks about me, or get in my head about something that went wrong recently. But I will never be able to change someone’s opinion, or shift a situation, so all I can do is focus on being my best self and taking positive action that I am able to execute.
3. Eat for health, not to be skinny.
This was a BIG one for me that has DEFINITELY transformed in my later twenties. I used to look at food as the enemy and something to restrict. I did not care what I put into my body as long as it was limited in quantity to not gain weight. I relied on high self control to not overeat and began focusing on eating high protein meals when training for tennis in high school and college. My mindset has pivoted now to focus on eating foods that will nourish my body and keep me strong and healthy. I focus on buying low waste produce that is sustainable for the Earth and not wrapped in plastic. I focus on cutting out anything processed and eat what the Earth intended for me to eat.
4. Family is everything. People come and go but they are forever. Never take that for granted.
My family is my rock. They are the only people that have been through with me in every single stage of my life. Whether you like it or not, you are stuck with them for life and I appreciate that fact more and more as I have gotten older. Seeing my grandma age and seeing the outpour of love and support that her and her sisters still had was so beautiful to see and I knew that would be my sisters and I one day as well.
5. Nobody notices the little things that you nitpick about yourself.
What I’ve realized over the years is that everyone acts with self interest. People don’t care/talk about you like you may think and they truly just care about themselves. One of the best ways to win people over is by asking them questions about them because every person is focusing their energy internally.
6. Goals are what launch action.
If you do not take the time to sit down and write out very specifically what you want to accomplish, it will simply not happen. Set your goals high and shoot for the moon to what you can achieve. It may not happen, but without clear, defined goals, you will move aimlessly through life without clear purpose.
7. It doesn’t matter what you accomplished in the past. You must prove yourself over and over again. Every. Single. Day.
There are a few examples of this that speak to me, one being on my Instagram and the other in the sport I devoted the majority of the early half of my lift to (tennis). On Instagram, I have had posts that have gone completely viral, blowing up with likes, reposts, and shares BUT once that post dies down, it does not matter how amazing that post was, I have to continue to reproduce that quality of content over and over again. Nobody cares if you had a viral post two months ago, they care how you are performing that day, that week, that month. In tennis, the same concept applies. It does not matter if you beat a strong player a month ago, what matters is who you are winning or losing to on that given day.
8. Nothing lasts forever. Embrace the change and don’t dwell on the past – good or bad.
I’ve had moments throughout my life where I am on a complete high. Everything is going as perfect as it possibly could, my friends are amazing, no drama, I am having the time of my life, and so on. But life is constantly evolving and things will change, for the better or worse. Situations change that you are in can be temporary. People can move. Embrace every day as a new experience, and appreciate the good for what is was and focus on finding your new good.
9. Bars can get set incredibly high with life experiences. It can be challenging to be satisfied when playing the comparison game. You must look at each situation with fresh eyes and focus on staying present in the moment.
Living in the past will never serve you. Focus on each day with fresh eyes and evaluate it in that specific moment. Comparing people, experiences, trips, etc to ones in the past will never do you any good. Enjoy where you are at in that moment and appreciate each thing in the present for what it is.
10. Nobody can achieve your dreams but YOU. Stop blaming others for your failures.
It can be so tempting to throw the blame on other people for your own dissatisfaction in accomplishing your goals. What I’ve realized though is nobody is forcing you to do anything so take charge of your destiny and take action to achieve what you want to accomplish.
11. History tends to repeat itself. Figure out the root cause of what causes trends to repeat.
A main reason I love journaling is because you begin to become aware of trends that are occurring in your life – good or bad. Identify negative habits and trends and focus on solutions to your problems. History will repeat itself over & over again if you do not fix the root problem.
12. It’s ok if you don’t know where you want to be yet. Embrace the journey.
Our 20’s are some of our most exciting, confusing, foundational, exhilarating, fun, growing years of our life. A huge milestone in most 20 year olds lives’ is graduating college & entering the “adulting” world. In college I had no clue what I wanted to be doing and went into the Big 4 Accounting path. 2 years later I pivoted into digital marketing. I still question all of the time what I want to be doing 2, 5, 10, 15 years down the road but do my best to embrace the journey and continue making small steps to set myself up for future success and satisfaction.
13. Audit your inner circle. The content you are consuming has a direct impact on you whether you realize it or not.
I am very particular about who’s content I am consuming on social media particularly. You are a product of the 5 people you spend time around and I fully believe that social media has a big influence on this as well. There are a few accounts that I push myself to consume content from on a consistent basis including: the skinny confidential, ed mylett, gary vanderhchuck, rachaelsgoodeats, the balanced blonde, rachlmansfield, and SO many other incredible accounts.
14. The boy you cried probably won’t be the last. And trust me, he’s not worth your tears.
The number of boys I have obsessed over, cried over, been walked over by is comical at this point. In retrospect, every boy I was emotionally invested in was NOT worth so much energy. I was allowing it to consume me, and what I have learned over the years is that the only person you have the power to control is YOU. Allow boys to be a complement to your amazing life not a necessity.
15. Stay true to yourself, goals, passions, truths, and do not change that for anyone. ever.
After joining the workforce, I feel like I had a lot of identity losses. I was a student athlete prior where I was on a completely different schedules, was competing as a D1 athlete, and living my life wayyy more on my terms than I was after joining the corporate world. I have to constantly level-set to remind myself of who I am at the core and what I value the most to achieve the goals I want to achieve. Control your circle and stay true to yourself.
16. Stop wasting your money on things you don’t need.
After beginning my own journey as a content creator, my eyes have been opened to how influenced I have been from other creators. Remember that many of your favorite bloggers are doing this for a living and are making generous commissions off of any purchases you NEED in your life! Focus on the essentials and minimalist behaviors to save your wallet and energy.
17. Know your worth. There is only one you in the world.
I have to remind myself of this CONSTANTLY. Nobody can do things the way that YOU do them, and there is not one identical person in this massive world we live in. Kind of crazy right? Challenge yourself to find your strengths and capitalize the shit out of them.
18. Chances are you are not the only person going through your struggles. We are all human and face similar challenges.
Social media has truly opened my eyes to this. The transition from traditional media sources skewing content to what they believe the consumers want to personal accounts sharing their personal struggles & challenges has been truly eye opening.
19. Every door that closes leaves opportunity to open up a new and even more exciting door.
Endings are always new beginnings and as bittersweet as some may be, the new chapter is always an exciting one. Embrace the journey and find the good in your new one.
20. You deserve to be loved fearlessly and reciprocate it right back. Never settle for anything less.
I realized after countless dates that if it is meant to be, it will be. If you are stressing over a boy’s interest in you or questioning it, odds are there is a reason for it. If you are getting anything less than you deserve… then boy bye!
21. Everything happens for a reason even if you may not see it yet.
I firmly believe this that life has a way of working itself out in the long run. I’ve looked back at so many scenarios in my life and realize many of them were blessings in disguise. Hold on to this and focus on your present actions to make an impact on your future self.
22. Your life is a series of your small everyday actions. Focus on the small habits and these will lead to success.
Reading Atomic Habits was incredibly eye opening to the power of habit. Every goal you want to accomplish requires a series of habits to result in that end goal. If you wake up everyday and live your life thinking: how would the xyz characteristic person act in this situation? For example, if you are trying to become a neat freak, live everyday with that philosophy of what would a neat freak do? They probably would not allow that one article of clothing to sit on the floor. Over a week that one article of clothing will lead to a mound of clothing. The neat freak never allows that mound to form.
23. Send that risky text. In the long run you could care less about it.
Countless times in my life, I would OBSESS over exactly what to text someone and perfectly craft it for hours. Or I would overthink it X10000 in sending a risky text and fling my phone across the room, terrified to see what the response or lack of response would be. Over the years I’ve learned that the stress simply is not worth it and especially boys will not read into anything at all the way us girls tend to. Think less and just send the damn text.
24. Stop worrying about what other people think of you. Everyone is too wrapped up in their own issues to spend time focusing on you. You should always put yourself first.
I used to care SO much about what others thought of me, especially in high school and college. I would spend hours straightening my hair, putting on a full face up makeup, and for what? People are so wrapped up in their personal issues and selves that they don’t have time to obsess over things about you the way that you do. Learn to live more carefree and give zero fucks. Do what makes you happy and will help you be your best self.
25. You are not defined by the number of followers or likes you have.
I used to post a picture and just stare at the number of likes coming in and brainstorm the perfect caption, spend hours applying the perfect filter, and after so many years I realized, what for? Your follower count, like quantity, instagram feed means NOTHING to others as much as it does to you. After growing my food account and getting wayyy more likes than I ever will on my personal, it was eye opening how it still did not change ME as a person and how others perceive me. Hitting x number of followers doesn’t change ANYTHING in most aspects of your life. Focus on your business goals if using social media for that purpose and learn how to enjoy social media for what it is and obsess less over those numbers.
Let me know what you think of my 25 Things I’ve learned by 25 & any of your personal reflections another year around the sun!